be good and enjoy life

I was cleaning out a few boxes that were still sitting around from the move. And, while putting some books away this envelope floated out, falling to the ground. At first site, I thought it was trash but upon further inspection I realized it was a note my paternal grandmother sent to me for my twenty-first birthday. I remembered she stuffed a $20 dollar bill inside.

From the informal "Hi gal" to the way she spelled "Grama", this was so her. She didn't take sentimental things to heart. Shoving money inside an envelope half-heartedly and scribbling a few words on the outside was nothing to her.

I'll be honest with you. She wasn't the best grandmother. The warm fuzzy feelings eluded her. She was gruff. She was an alcoholic. She tanned her skin. She smoked long skinny cigarettes, storing them in a silver cigarette case. She took pride in her rose bushes. And, she had way of stinging your very core with just one flippant comment. (A flippant comment I've never forgotten by the way.)

But, there was always something about her that was oh-so intriguing. I'm not sure if it was the way she kept seashells in her bathroom, her love of Hawaii or her storage of a sponge at every single sink in her house. Maybe it was the need for always having a white terrier dog(s) by her side, the tube tops she kept in her middle drawer or the smell of her home that was truly unique. It could be the way she carried herself in that self-important manner, her gravelly voice or the look behind her eyes that seemed to tell a story without words. I can't quite put my finger on it. In some ways I was in awe of her while not understanding why she chose to live her life the way she did. If nothing else, she was memorable. To me anyway.

Something else though. I only realized today when by chance this little envelope I've saved for 15 years happened to float into my day.

This is also so me.

I am sentimental which is why I hung onto to this scrap piece of paper for so long. I still enjoy the "Big Water" adoringly. And, most likely unbeknowst to my Grama Glory, my motto, unbeknownst to myself as well, has always been "be good and enjoy life".