three things

I’ve subjected myself to a hailstorm of doctor visits recently not by my choosing, but rather, because I had a brilliant plan to get myself healthy (and lose weight) by signing up for a half marathon in June. A plan so brilliant which led to aches and pains; Some I accounted for and some I didn’t. I expected to be sore but I didn’t expect plantar fasciitis. That was my first hurdle, and I still struggle with it. Besides the normal pain and tribulations with starting a workout routine, I discovered three little known facts about myself along the way. This, by the way, got me no closer to my original goal in any way. Oh no, in fact, I feel further away from said goal than I ever did.

First up: breathing. I planned on running the half marathon as much as I could. That meant I would have to go out running and build myself up. I set my bar very low however. I thought if I could run at least five miles without stopping I would be very pleased with myself. Very pleased indeed. In order to run for that distance one needs the assistance of their lungs to be successful. Mine weren’t in the mood to cooperate in the slightest. I felt like I was trying to breathe through a straw. After visits with my regular medical doctor, earning herself a failing grade, I decided I would call in a specialist. I took some tests, got some meds and followed the plan. The test results showed that my lungs are small most likely caused by my weight. The pressure from the extra weight acts like compression on the lungs, therefore causing them to be smaller according to the pulmonary specialist. Small lungs…who knew. The medicines he prescribed are helping mucho grande however, losing extra poundage would be better. I get it Mr. Doctor. And, I know. This was why I was trying to start a running program for myself in the first place. Catch 22.

Second: fatty liver. Just typing those two little words about myself makes me shiver. It doesn’t sound very cute does it?

“Fatty liver ma’am?”

“Ahhh, no thanks.”

Spying my cute fatty liver in the first place was a not-so-happy accident. I’ve been having tummy troubles and since it’s impossible to have a 24 hour flu bug every other day, I suspected my gallbladder as the culprit. After another doctor visit plus an ultrasound, we discovered my gallbladder was doing just fine but my liver….it is fatty. What that even means I’m not sure except that losing weight would help tremendously. You don’t have to hit me over the head twice.

However, my weird flu bug ailments coupled with intense pain was not alleviated by the discovery of my fatty liver. All we did was rule out my very happy gallbladder as the instigator. Which leads us number three: IBS. Yes, that’s right…Irritable bowel syndrome. Has a lovely ring to it, doesn’t it?

I can’t believe I just wrote that about myself on the world wide web. But, since we are close buds ... two peas in a pod ... the Internet and me ... I can share right? What's a little IBS between friends anyway?! I sort of feel like I just revealed a dirty little secret while flashing on scenes from Along Came Polly.

“Oh don’t worry” my doctor told me, “It’s very common.”

Phew, that’s a relief! (Not!)

The good thing is I started with a medicine that is supposed to help relieve the symptoms. However, my RN friend warned me that IBS is a blanket diagnoses when doctors don’t know what the hell is wrong with you. And, then she told me to request a CT scan of my belly stat. I heed her warning, I do, but I’m going to try these meds for a bit first. I've had my fair share of doctor offices lately and I’m not in a rush to get into another one anytime soon.

So there you go. The three things I’ve recently discovered about myself are I have small lungs, a fatty liver and a cranky pooper. Aren’t I fun to be around!