ladybug, ladybug

It's not such an unknown fact that I DON'T like ladybugs. I really, really don't like ladybugs. And, anytime I reveal this little quirk of my personality people usually look at me in shock and horror. "How can you not like ladybugs?" is the usual question I'm asked. Don't get me wrong, I think they are cute and all. Little cartoon drawings and embroidered clothing is downright adorable. But the actual "BUG" I do not like. I do not like at all.

It all started when I was a freshman in college. My parents and I moved into a very, very, very old farmhouse. And that particular year, there was a very unusual and gigantic infestation of ladybugs. They were everywhere!! It was so bad that one of the side wall of a white barn down on the farm was literally red being covered by millions and millions of ladybugs.

Just days after moving into the old farmhouse, I was the first to take a shower in the bathroom (not original to the house) with no ventilation and makeshift shower walls. The steam from the shower quickly filled up the bathroom and woke up thousands of ladybugs hibernating between the shower stall and wall. They started crawling up to the ceiling and the water condensation would make them lose their grip causing them to drop down in the shower and on me. I tried to rinse my hair in between falling ladybugs but there were just too many and they were falling too fast. I bolted out of the shower with soapy hair and screamed for my mom. I don't remember the resolution of the predicament...I just remember the grossness of the situation. The amount of ladybugs in that house was a constant battle. We would wake up in the morning with ladybugs in our sheets and on our pillows. They were in our closets and in our dresser drawers. We would often crunch them under toe. (I know: gross!!) We would vacuum them up with a shop vac constantly.

A little known fact about ladybugs is that they stink!!! Ladybugs excrete some of their blood as a defense. It is yellow and smells bad. Really, really bad. It smells sort of like dirty socks and baby throw up and yellow mustard ... all together. And when you are vacuuming up millions of bugs all trying to protect themselves by excreting stinky, yellow stuff, it makes for a very unpleasant experience had by all.

What's worse, I attended college in a very old building. And when ladybugs were having their little infestation party down on the farm, they were also throwing a kegger at the local college. I couldn't get away from those friggin' beetles. And let me remind you, they are beetles!! Not cute little pets that grant you good luck. But stinky insects that evolve from black and orange larva. They are transgender critters is what they are. Stinky insects dressed up in pretty clothes...strutting around in red and polka-dot cloaks. Think of it like this. Those little hamsters and gerbils at the pet store are cute and furry. They way their little whiskers wiggle when they smell the air is so adorable. But they are still a rodent and if they were living in the walls of your home, you would call an exterminator to get rid of them right?? I feel the same way about ladybugs.