sweet spot

Ages ago when I started this little irish blog, I would think about what my next post would be about almost every day. What pictures I would post. What something I would write about. And, how I could make it interesting or funny. I worried about getting my opinions heard without offending others. However, sometimes I was so mad, in the heat of the moment, I did want to offend. Mostly, though, I just wanted to share my pictures and little doo-dads as of late.

Did I succeed? Not really sure. I think the people out there who know me in real life, might have understood my ramblings, forgave my typos and maybe, just maybe, might have chuckled a time or two.

Now that my kids aren't so little anymore, I find myself more busy with other stuff and less occupied about what to write about on this here little blog. Busy with what you might ask. Not really sure to be honest. Life, I guess. As in MY life. It seems like the less time I spend hauling small children around from different schools and activities the more streamlined my existence became.

And, let's be real here, no one is really interested in how I organized a closet or when I got my hair cut or how many times I let the dogs out or what I had for lunch. Besides, that's what facebook is for!! (wink, wink)

When I was knee deep in diapers, tae kwon do, bottles, nap times, preschools, strollers, carpools, dance class, baby food, and playdates....I spent no time really thinking about myself. In fact, I avoided thinking about myself because I didn't like how I felt or looked. So blogging was a creative outlet more or less. It allowed me to step out of my crazed, sleepless world of spit up stains, scraped knees and strained peas. Gave me something to focus on.

Now that I have less of that and more free time, I find myself blogging less and "doing me" more.

All that swirling madness of the last ten years led me to here. This magical place. The mommy sweet spot!

I was just thinking yesterday, if I could freeze time in which my children stayed the ages of 10, 8 and 5, I would. (Although eight year old girls are rough man!) But, no, really I would!! I have this little tickle deep down in my gut that feels like sand dripping through an hourglass and there is nothing I can do to stop it. There is a little something I love about each of the kids' ages right now. If I could soak up all the goodness, squeeze out every last drop of adorableness for the next three to four years I would be happy. It would fill me up and, I would feel better about eking out another year. Letting the kids move onto 11, 9 and 6.

As I was sitting on my youngster's bed this morning, watching her get dressed (without any assistance from me), knowing that my middle child was downstairs getting her breakfast and my oldest was packing up all his needed supplies for his new duties at school, I was reminded, again, what a perfect time of my life I was living. The kids are old enough to be independent but young enough to still be sweet. They are old enough that they all go to the same school but young enough to still be my "little" kids. 11, 9 and 6 just feels too old. Too mature. A loss of innocence perhaps.

And, when we were walking to the bus stop my youngest and oldest took part in an impromptu race while my middle stayed back, walking with me, declaring "big boys and little girls are crazy!", I thought to myself. Will a six year old still wave and smile at me from the bus window with pure excitement and joy? Will a nine year old still want to hold my hand and ask for kisses goodbye? Will an eleven year old still think I know all the answers and want to play boardgames with his mother?

What I miss from ten year old, I get from five year old. What my five year old is too young for, I can share with my eight year old. Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera! A perfect recipe for the mommy sweet spot if you ask me.

So what is the point of this post? It sort of started out as an apology for not blogging, but I don't really want to apologize for getting my groove back. Do I? No, not really. It's an explanation I suppose. But it's not like I have "fans" out there waiting, with bated breath, for my next entry either. It's just a post with nothing exciting to report but a check in more or less. If you are still with me at the end of all this rambling, I give you your prize. A great big "thank you!" for hanging in there with me. And I hope you are enjoying some sweet spot of your very own (which sounds sort of dirty, but whatever!!).