boy oh boy

There are two things I like least about myself. Number one: I keep stuff. Man, that drives me crazy! And, number two: I worry. The latter has gotten me all worked up more often than I care to admit. I worry about silly things to huge life changing things. Of course, as I've aged I worry less about what my hair looks like and what I'm going to wear. You know, the all important things back in the day. Now, the stuff that fills my brain space are things like getting a job or if we have to replace the washer. But always, always I think/worry about my children.

My latest worry is El Fuego. Well, I take that back. He isn't my latest worry per se, I tend to always have some sort of worrisome degree when it comes to my only son, but lately the amount of worry attached to his being is more intense and certainly more often. The emails exchanged back and forth with his teachers. The untruths that get uncovered after the fact. The battle that ensues about almost. every. little. thing. like brushing his teeth and wearing clean clothes. "Oh My Gawd!!!! Just put on a clean sweatshirt dude! It's not THAT big of a deal! HOLY CRAP!"

Seriously, my obituary will read: "This mother of three was unable to keep her cool in the laundry room after having the four millionth argument right (and I do mean 'right') before going to bus stop about wearing appropriate attire/undone homework/hidden notes from teachers/fights with siblings that she fell over and just died. Resuscitation was unnecessary because her children didn't notice her on the floor and continued to argue about who would push the garage door button. She might be missed."

El Fuego, as I've shared before, is intense, impulsive and has himself a healthy dose of boy/potty humor. Which in many ways makes him freaking fantastic!! And, if I don't die before he is out of the house, I know these qualities will make me damn proud of him. Because, people who can make quick decisions, are passionate about their work/life and are funny, are people I'm always drawn to and who impress me the most.

However, these qualities in a classroom setting are pretty much always frowned upon. My boy tends to get the most frowns of them all. *heavy sigh*

I've had an itch that has been bothering me for some time now regarding El Fuego's life. His personality. His mindset. As much as I don't want to squash all the super great things about his character that makes him uniquely him, I do struggle with helping him hone his skill set. And, his appropriateness of which he chooses to use his said skills. If you catch my drift.

So I grabbed myself a pair of boot straps and I'm pulling myself up and at'em. I called his pediatrician and we have a meeting next week. Although I worry what will transpire as a result, I feel at peace as well.

Hopefully my obituary will also read: "Her one goal of growing her children into the best, self-reliant, free thinking, resilient, whole human beings they could possibly be was met by leaps and bounds!"