to whom it may concern

Dear GAP,

Recently I have found myself perplexed on your take regarding the issue of curviness in women. For, I was very excited to hear from a friend that you were now carrying a variety of pant labeled “curvy”. Mostly, I was excited that you, The GAP, had jumped onto the women with curves bandwagon and decided to tailor a little, teeny, tiny more to those particular women’s needs. We, my friend and I, scoured your racks and stacks of skinny jeans, tight sweaters, chucks and bohemian styled cuteness looking for these so called curvy pants. However, we were disappointed to see your small section, albeit section none the least, of curvy pants consisted of two or three random stacks of size 0, size 1 and size 2. Now I ask you . . . . . what size 0 women is in need of a pair of trousers with extra room in the hips and thighs?

We indeed did find one larger size crammed way back in the back and upon trying them on, I discovered they fit. What was even better? Those so called curvy pants were a whole size smaller than I had been normally wearing. Yippee! What delight. However, you little teaser you, made those said pants for women who are seven feet tall. Which, you guessed it, I am not. The amount of material pooling around my feet from my 5’ 5” frame was down right funny!!! Now I understand. You don’t have to hit me over the head three times for me to figure out your reasoning. . . . . . your idea of women with curves who require pant sizes in the double digits are in fact Amazonian. And since Amazonian women aren’t generally found shopping in the local mall, you assume there just isn’t a need for pant sizes above two in any version.

Oh GAP! What a jokester you are!! You fool us ladies with curvaceous figures, you cute three capital letter named, overly priced store. You lure us in with our junky trunks, teasing us with words like “curvy”, watching us get our hopes up and then snicker at our dismay. Hahahahaha! You got me!

Thanks for the laugh!
Little Irish

P.S. Can you tell your friend, Abercrombie and Fitch, to turn the music down!!!!!