December 9, 2007

bad mood

I think it was right around 6:32am that I decided this weekend, nope scratch that . . . . this past week, was the worse I've had in a long time. Oh sure, it was peppered with a little sweet and light here and there. Like when the kids and I made gingerbread houses, or when wonder boy and I made up silly jokes to tell each other, or playing with the puppy, or going to The Divine Miss O's dance recital, or going to the tree farm to get our Christmas tree but for the most part it was a "no good, horrible, terrible, very bad week!!" The constant noise, the constant disarray of the house, the constant stress, the constant chasing, the constant cleaning up the same messes time after time, the constant reminders to stop doing the things I've said not to do about a million times, the constant constant!!! My frustration has turned into anger and I feel like I'm walking around like a kettle of water on the stove on the verge of whistling its high pitched squeal. I feel like crying. I feel like screaming. I feel like throwing a match in the house and walking away from the whole lot. . . . .

UPDATE: I didn't mean I wanted to set fire to my family, just to my overly, all-hope-lost, very, messy, messy house. The feeling of hopelessness and not knowing where to start is extremely frustrating. I tell myself all the time, stop wallowing! There are tons of people out there with far worse stresses and burdens. But there are times you just can't help it. Yes, I know there are people in wheelchairs and people without homes and people who have sucky jobs . . . . . . yada, yada, yada. That doesn't make me feel better about what I'm going through right now at this very moment. I did get out with friends last night for a couple hours eating snacks and laughing which raised my spirits. Although, I don't think my life likes me much right now for I learned our microwave died when I got home. Nice! Yet, another thing.

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