January 11, 2015

life: phase two

Eleven days into the brand new year. 2015. Although I'm not a big resolution maker, mostly because I don't like feeling the disappointment when I fail, but I am a big believer in grabbing the fresh start and relishing in starting anew. However, it's taken me these eleven days to really think on and decide what I wanted to pour my energy into this year. How I want to reorganize my brain space. I didn't want to willy-nilly jump into flippant goal setting. I want to make it meaningful.

Here's the kicker though....not only is this a brand new year....having recently turned forty years old, this is also the start of phase two of my life! Let's face it, the first forty years of life is spent in basic survival mode. You survive your childhood, your teenage angst, your college experience, your job searches, and the early days of raising a young family. At least for me, this is the case. Not that there weren't happy moments aplenty, but phase one is surviving the things mostly out of our control and learning how to handle situations. But, the great thing about phase one is it teaches us how strong we really are and the values we deem most important.

There is, this little awkward, dicey bit in between phases when you are growing out of phase one but before you enter the full fledge phase two. You are taking control and make adjustments to how you live, what you love, and where you spend your choices. But you're not quite at the phase two part of life just yet. You might still be trying to decide if you are going to hang on to your youth by your fingernails or if you're going to accept and rejoice in the newness of phase two as a strong, confident 40 year old. I'm hoping for the latter myself. Here I am, forty, staring down phase two and on the cusp of a new year.

So, 2015 is kinda a big deal. I am grabbing this untrained phase (the next forty years) of life, coupled with the excitement of a brand new year. Both are providing me with an invigorating feeling. I decided the theme of this great adventure would be JOY. (Last year, my word was YES as in I would say yes and open myself up to as many new experiences and people as I could). This year, my word is JOY as in I would only do the things and spend my energy on the things and people that bring me joy.

The other night, I was watching an interview with Ricky Gervais (whom I find to be pretty hilarious) and his anecdote about life hit me at the perfect moment. I love a good anecdote people!! Basically the question was: Why does the show (Derek) mingle comedy with tragedy? His answer: Because that is what life is like. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. People ask me, "Is Derek a comedy or drama?" I reply, "What’s your life?" It is always a bit of both. The world is not entirely comic and it's not entirely dramatic.

That's so true, don't ya think?! Life is a laugh and then a lump....and, being able to find laughs, helps us overcome the lumps. The trick, methinks, is finding joy in the little achievements and spontaneous moments of fun. Being able to do that, helps us laugh through the lumps.

A friend recently sent me a funny article outlining the subtle art of not caring (although the author used a choice word that rhymes with luck - ha!) and the inverse relationship of joy experienced. In order to make 2015 the most joyful for myself, I've decided to: laugh as much as possible and not spend any energy on the people who dish out lumps. I've also decided to spend as much time on the things that fill me with joy for example, hangin' with my family, taking pictures, visiting with friends often, traveling, going to yoga class, decluttering my abode, and working more. These are the things that make me most happy.

Found inspiration:

Thirty Things I've Learned
7 Tremendous Effects of Having a Positive Attitude
why being a mom is enough.
New Year’s Resolution Remix: 15 Things To Stop Doing In 2015
Mark Manson

No comments: