June 19, 2012

adventures in parenting

The adventures in parenting that occurred today included a smallish mishap while refurbishing a lemonade stand, a rather painful eyebrow threading, managed to dodge ruthless petition signer guys at the grocery store, a close call with a microwave fire, burned some skin off the tip of my pointer finger and took care of a bunny with a slight case of diarrhea.
This morning started out like any other Tuesday morning. I laid in bed as long as I could while Mr. Hawthorne rustled the troops up. I didn't sleep well last night which added to the pain of getting out of bed. I painfully got my lazy bones moving, got lunches/snacks put in backpacks and walked the kids to the bus. I debated about going back to bed for this is my last week of kid free days before summer vacation. Instead I got myself together and headed off to do errands.

First stop was the little shop I have been cosigning some of my clothes with. After losing ninety-three pounds I have myself a little stock pile of clothes that don't fit. This trip included summer season capri pants, shorts and tops. I'm always surprised at the comments the clerk gives me. Usually she tells me an item or two of mine are "outdated" which kills me because that blue and green jumpsuit with the matching, zip up top is still hanging at the front of the shop. Not even marked down mind you. "Hello! 1982 is calling and they want their old lady attire back!!" This time, however, she was pleasant and actually told me my clothes "always" sell. Well duh! Big chicks like to get deals on clothes too and Eddie Bauer in size 18 isn't always easy to come by. Of course it sells! It probably flies off the racks. Outdated my rear end!

Then it was a trip to craft store. I'm wrapping up some peacock party planning and I needed some supplies. I was still in my black polka-dot rain boots from taking the kids to the bus and I felt a little self conscious wearing them out in public. To my surprise, I got a few compliments while I sloshed around which was nice. I even found some perfect peacock fabric which delighted me to no end.

After coming back home I realized Monroe the bunny had a slight case of diarrhea. Want me to explain bunny diarrhea? Yeah, me either. Suffice it to say, our poor Mr. Bun-Bun probably has had too much in the "greens" department and it's making his tummy a little funny. I disinfected the kitchen floor and have been monitoring the rabbits input and output all day long.

The sun finally peeked out for a bit so I decided to seize the opportunity and put a coat of clear on the lemonade stand I have been fixing up for Petite Artiste. I added cute letter decal spelling l-e-m-o-n-a-d-e on the top after painting it yellow which I was all excited about. One coat was great. Coat two decided it should bubble and I was upset. Really upset. I even dug my finger into the layer of clear coat. I decided there was nothing I could do until it dried and needed to go grocery shopping instead.

That's when I stealthy dodged the very loud "sign my petition" dude as he yelled out to the guy behind me: "sir, are you a registered voter?". He already had a woman stopped and he was trying to bring more people in. I averted my eyes and slid in through the door. Close call!! It absolutely drives me batty when I feel harassed. What bee's wax is it of yours "sign my petition" dude if I'm registered to voter or not!! I just want to go buy some bread without getting stopped and made to feel pressured to sign a piece a paper about a topic I don't agree with. Not only do I have to deal with trying to get into the store, the store now has a silly points reward system they keep trying to coerce people into signing up for. They wait for you at the end of the check out counter and get in the way of you trying to get home before the school bus. Chaps my hide I tell ya! I managed to dodge that bullet too. Woot, woot! And avoided the "sign my petition" dude by going out the opposite door and walking across the parking lot to get to my car.

Much to my delight, the hour I spent grocery shopping did my little lemonade stand mishap good. The bubbles worked themselves out and everything calmed down. I almost decided to add another coat of clear but decided to stop while I was ahead. Crises averted!!

And, this is when I realized I had left our milk in the milk box. All. Day. Long. Luckily it wasn't a warm day and the milk box is slightly insulated. But man! I sure hope no one gets sick from our milk supply this week.

The kids got home and my Mr. Money Bags son headed over to the neighbor's house to help with yard work. Cha-ching! I started straightening up the downstairs of my messy abode because Petite Artiste was due to have a visit from her tutor for the very last time. While I was vacuuming, Miss Petite decided to make herself a burrito. She even read the cooking directions on the back. Which is proof that moola I paide out each week on the tutor was money well spent. Problem is she misread the 2 for a 5 and put her tasty snack into the microwave for three minutes too long. I just finished the floor when I heard her panic cry. What I smelled was a horrible five times worse than burnt popcorn smell. The kitchen was being enveloped with smoke. And, her burrito was charred and smoking like a log in the fire pit. I threw the hot brick that once resembled a burrito into the garbage which melted the plastic garbage bag adding to another unpleasant smell. The good news, although close, she didn't start a fire in the microwave, no one suffered from smoke inhalation and we had another burrito in the freezer. I helped with the cooking of second snack and she happily ate it all gone.

Miss Divine was working on a special, secret pal project for her classmate. The assignment was to draw a name and home-make something special for the person you picked the name of. Kind of like a Secret Santa on a second grade level. Miss D drew a boy's name and  decided to make a pet rock (remember those) for him. Cute right?! She found a special rock from the back yard, painted it green and added glitter. I helped her the hot gluing of the eyeballs and that's when I burnt the skin right off the tip of my left pointer finger. When will I ever learn?!?! Hot glue is very HOT!

That's when Mr. Hawthorne pulled into the driveway with not one, but two picnic tables. I'm soooo excited! Three cheers for Craigslist. I can now have Miss Divine's birthday party in the backyard like I envisioned it. Along with El Fuego's August shin dig. I've also been dreaming of lots of outdoor meals being had this summer with friends and family. So I was beyond thrilled. The thought of the kids getting out of school in just four short days just got brighter.

Now I'm typing this overly long post about my day in a life with a very sore finger. With every tap, tap, tap I'm reminded parenting is a full time adventure filled with ups and downs. Who says a stay-at-home mom's life is boring?!?

Updated: After rereading the first paragraph, I realized I totally forgot about my very painful eyebrow threading. Don't get me wrong....I love me eyebrow threading. It's better for your skin than waxing and my skin usually doesn't turn a bright shade of red after. Usually. That is if it's done correctly. The young chicky that took my eyebrows into her hands did an awful job. Not that the result looks bad, just that her technique needs work. A LOT of work. It's never, ever hurt as much before. My eye watered, my skin burned and I got that awful feeling in the pit of stomach that felt like claustrophobia. And, that was only the first eyebrow. I had to sit there and endure the other eyebrow. Oy! Not only that, she insulted the overweight woman that sat in her chair before me calling her "fat" and worried she would break the chair. Aye Aye Aye!!

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