April 3, 2012

great pleasures

As I was about to turn off the all addictive pinterest, this little tidbit flashed before me. I was instantly struck by a memory of my Grama Glory. I've briefly written about her before. Grama Glory is my estranged father's mother. As I type this I can hear the tinkling of her ice cubes in her short glass and smell the unusual scent of her home. These are my acute memories, of course. Which is okay. Other family members might have grown up with a different version of my grandmother and that is okay too.

I was very young when my parents parted. My mom was also very young. After the divorce, mom would take me to visit Grama Glory on occasion. I always loved her fancy rose bushes at the front of her little white house that she took so much pride in grooming. Sadly she took more pride in her plants than her words. And, after a few (too many) drinks, her tongue would become very loose and more often than not, hurtful.

One sunny, summer afternoon while Grama was donning a tube top and sunning her already dark skin, we stopped by. During their chat, she told my mom that I "wouldn't amount to much". You know because she was so observant in her drunkenness, that that strawberry blond, five year old girl dancing around the back yard smelling pink flowers and chasing the dog was destined for a future of failure.

When I was a little older, around nine and prepubescent, I hadn't seen her for many years. My home life was complicated and awkward. On a very rare visit with my father, he took me to see her along side his new family. Instead of greeting me with any sort of affections, she stared at me for a long time making me feel uncomfortable and said "You've still got that goofy grin."

Yes, Grama Glory had a way didn't she. She projected her jealousies onto innocent bystanders. Her drink of choice either made her void of remorse or made her brave. Either way, she lacked any sort of grace.

So when I came upon this statement above, not only did it stir up memories of my now deceased grandmother, but it resonated deep down to my core for I believe it is so true. Doing what someone says you can't, is a great pleasure indeed.

When I placed my high school graduation cap tassle on the opposite side, I smiled and thought, "You see what I just did? I just graduated from high school!"

After walking across the stage and recieving my bachelor's degree, I smiled and thought, "You see what I just did? I just finished four years of college!"

When I put my teaching certificate to use and got a job, I smiled and thought, "You see what I just did? I just got myself a career!"

After I said 'I Do', I smiled and thought, "You see what I just did? I just got married!"

With the birth of each of my children, I would smile through my tears and think, "You see what I just did? I just made my family!"

So you see there, Grama Glory, that little girl with the goofy grin that wasn't going to amount to much is already doing more than you ever thought possible and doing it well I might add. Not only that, but it gives me much pleasure to smile and think "In Your Face!"