September 8, 2008

just another manic monday

Monday, Monday, Monday!!! Today was one of those days! Everyone overslept and the big kids had to be woke up to get ready for school. That right there is always a bad sign. (Why is it they NEVER oversleep during the weekend is beyond me!) Anyway, I forgoed the shower per usual and got the kidlets dressed, lunches packed and had everyone ready to go. J and Wonder Boy took off before the girls and I to find a parking spot in the parking lot of hell. *insert scary, echoing voice* Seriously, trying to find a spot at that place is painfully frustrating! The Divine Miss O, Baby Love and I were out of the house shortly after.

Girls loaded in . . . check
Seat belts on . . . . check
Car started . . . .check
Emergency Brake release . . . . . um . . . .handle in my hand, e-brake light still on

That was my second clue this day was destined for bad cosmic mojo. As I pulled the handle to release my e-brake, it broke and I was left with the brake still partially on, the handle in my hand and me having no clue how to release it all the way. It was just enough released, I was able to drive so I drove Miss O to school with my van dinging at me over and over and over again. Chinese water torture. With every ding my van was taunting me. DING *turn off your emergency break dumb-ass* . . . . DING *oh that's right, I'm the piece of crap that just broke off in your hand* . . . . DING *but I find complete joy in reminding you to turn off the e-brake* . . . . DING *over* . . . . DING *and over* . . . . DING *and over* . . .DING *and over again!!* . . DING *Muwaaahaaahahahahahaha!!!!!* . . . DING! You see, I have a love/hate relationship with my little blue mini van. I love that it's paid off and room for everyone. I love that it has sliding doors so when retards park super close to me, I can still get the kids inside. I hate that it's not four wheel drive so that when it snows I'm completely stuck on the top of this hill. And I HATE that it is consistently falling apart piece by friggin piece.

I had resolved in driving around all day with my mode of transportation dinging at me. Before I could go home after dropping Miss O off, I had to stop for gas. About a mile before entering the driveway to the gas station, I began reminding myself not to push the stupid e-brake down repeatedly. "Don't step on the e-brake! Don't step on the e-brake! Don't step on the e-brake!" And what do you know, out of habit and before I could stop myself, I lifted up my foot and pushed down on the pedal. "CRAP!!!!!"

After filling up and calling J to come rescue me, I managed to give my hunk of junk enough gas to get it pulled over to the side. And rescue me, Mr J-man did. . . . . he showed me how to release the brake underneath the dash therefor proving that I didn't just screw up my day, but also his.

Now upon realizing that I was about to embark on a rocky day right at 7:10am when the alarm had been blasting for the last half hour and the kids were still sound asleep, I should have called it quits right then and there. I should have called everyone in sick at school, crawled back into bed and started fresh tomorrow. For it was a phone call at 11:40 am from the principal at Miss O's school that threw me right into the "worst mom of the day" category. For some reason I had it in my head that I needed to leave at noon to pick up O from school . . . . . right after I enjoyed the first show of the new season of "Ellen". *cough* By the time I got to her, I was a half hour late picking her up and I still feel like a complete jack-ass for slipping up.

And at this time, I must take a moment to apologize to the driver in front of me as I was frantically trying to get to her.

Dear woman driver in red Honda SUV type of car,

I'm sorry I tailgated and eventually passed you on that side street by the park with the double line. I was in a hurry and it was a slight bit of an emergency for me to get past you. I know that you were trying to teach me lesson in good driving etiquette by pointing your finger at me and waving it like I was a four years old. And I apologize for yelling at you through my window after
you did so. I realize you had no idea I was a bit frantic trying to get to my daughter but in all honestly, you were being a little bitchy driving super slow and making it impossible for me to get around you. I didn't need to be scolded; I just needed for you to get out my way. I wasn't mad at you or trying to be rude to you. So maybe next time when a women driving a minivan is behind you too close and has a look of panic and horror on her face, maybe just pull over and let her by. You'll save yourself some trouble and you will have helped her get to her destination with ease.

Thank you and many apologies!
Little Irish

Phew - I feel better already. Picking Miss O up late from school resulted in us arriving a tad late to speech class. And maybe that's where my brain went all screwy. Today was Miss O's first day of her new fall speech schedule. It is possible I had the afternoon hour lodge in my frontal lobe and the wires got mixed with all the emergency brake nonsense. During speech, I bought the new Little Mermaid movie for the girls so that when we got home, they could occupy themselves with a new movie to watch and I could recuperate.

I'm here to report, I survived and the rest of the day carried on without much trouble. Dinner, bedtime, a new day tomorrow and a visit to the dealer is in my horizon.

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