mid-life

Two things happened recently. My dear, sweet friend and neighbor asked me "What is going on with your blog?" And, a high school pal found our English teacher via cyber stalking and sent me her website deets. Both have inspired me to open my laptop and see if I remembered my password to log in.

I realized my last post was way back in September. After the kids went back to school, I feel like I was busy doing everything but nothing at all. Once again, my schedule became not my own and I've been tied down to managing the life of my family. Their schedule is my schedule. And their schedules are full.

Along with all that here and there and nowhere, I have been slowly creeping up on the middle of my life point. With every day passing, I'm beginning to put that young life I was living behind me. I feel like all the firsts (i.e. first kiss, first job, first house, first baby, first minivan) is behind me, behind us. Now we finish raising and continue working and basically circling the little slice of life we've carved off for ourselves. Protecting it, growing it, loving it. And, although I'm not digging in my heels and fighting forty to the bitter end, it has been on my mind quite a bit.

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Mid life (adjective) See middle age.

Middle age (noun) The period of age beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age, usually between the ages of 40 and 60.

Count down to my mid life: five months.

Gulp!!

When I turned thirty-nine this last September, I had an entire list of things I was going to do to make turning forty better. Easier. Smoother. September is not only my birthday month, but also the month kids go back to school. And, this year, the kids started a new school year on my actual birthday. Yup, my thirty-ninth year was going to rock. I was going to LIVE. IT. UP. sister!! I was going to bust out of bed every morning like a Disney Princess all chipper and singing and stuff. I was going to organize the garage. I was going to de-clutter the house. I was going to make exercise a priority. I was going to pay off debt. And, I was going to be better to myself therefore making me a better wife and mom.

I was going to walk into forty with swagger, baby ... throwing my hands in the air ... "like I just don't care....heeeeyyy!, hhooo!".

I just aged myself with that one, didn't I?

So far I've succeeded in dying my hair platinum blonde, going to yoga twice a week and making a few trips to Goodwill. My house is still cluttered. My garage is still unorganized, although filled with less stuff. I still have debt. And, my booty isn't any smaller than it was seven months ago. At this point, mid life is winning. Because, let's face it. Every year right after the new school year starts, the holidays hit. And, the holidays usually kick my butt. It's the pressure to be jolly and make memories greater than last years. It's the spending of money on crap that usually breaks, needs returned or is unappreciated. It's the cold and dark gray days. It's the cookies and candies and alcoholic beverages too good to pass up. The holidays wear me out. My "we can do it" attitude turns into "yeah, whatever, bring mommy a blanket" nap fest.

But!! Do not fear, my friends, I'm not pushing the panic button just yet. I may look like I live in a trailer park beside the freeway all bleached blonde with roots showing hair right now, but I still have five months left. I haven't lost this mid life crises battle yet. I keep telling myself the act of turning 40 is probably much worse than actually turning 40.

With my head held high and the promise of blue skies and warmer weather around the bend, I keep on keeping on. I AM going to rock 40. I just don't know how right now. I still have five months to figure that out.

Oh, and about my last post? From what seems like forever ago. My youngest is surviving school and making progress. The behavior chart is a thing of the past and she is busy doing her thang, her way, as usual. As always, what seems to be true of everything.....this too shall pass.....and it did.